Things I won’t miss about America

So I’m really going to miss being in America. In fact, I’m so upset I have to leave that I’ve decided to make a list of all the things about America that I’ll be glad to leave behind. It’s not really helping me feel any better about the situation, but I thought it’d be worth a shot. So, without further ado here’s a short list of some of the things I certainly won’t be missing:

being asked over and over again to say specific words, and then waiting as people laugh about the fact that I just said them in a British accent (this is actually something I don’t mind at first. At the beginning of my time here it was actually a bit of a novelty, though it got old fast. Most people do this to some extent so I’ve had to get used to it, but luckily most of them get over it after a while, and the problem only emerges on occasion later on. If you do it over five times in a row upon meeting me for the first time consider there a strike against your name in the first-impressions ledger)

 the fact that a loaf of bread costs upwards of four dollars in any shop that isn’t a supermarket

on a related note…

the fact that I can’t buy anything other than bread, milk, or canned food unless I go to one of the supermarkets 

on a related note…

the fact that if I want to find a supermarket I may as well be walking around the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone

– frat bros 

– American cheese (especially Kraft cheese)

– Hershey’s Chocolate (I kind of feel bad about ruining American chocolate for some people over here. After trying some Hershey’s, saying it was awful, and then being told by one or two people that I’m wrong, I was determined to find some imported British, Belgian, and Swiss chocolate to show them how terrible (most) American chocolate is by comparison. One or two people I gave it to said later that they can’t eat Hershey’s anymore, and because there’s generally not much else available they’ve sort of gone off chocolate altogether. Ultimately, I’m not entirely sure if Hershey’s chocolate is better than no chocolate whatsoever)

– Region Locking

Duke University (fuck them)

– the drinking age (I also miss being able to go for a drink in the pub with some friends, as well as British/European beers)

– being asked over and over again to say something in an American accent, and then waiting as people laugh about the fact that I just said it in a pale mockery of an American accent (again, very common at first, but mostly fades after a short time. Occasionally flares up again with all the warm reception I’d give to a case of shingles)

those (obviously and thankfully rare) people that think Europe is a country/think Europe is some kind of phantom place that people sometimes talk about, but that doesn’t actually exist/think Europe is a godless hotbed of communism/can’t point to Europe on a map

Gamestop (I swear to GOD)

that guy who responded to my expression of the desire to see ‘The King’s Speech’ with ‘Wow, you must be really cultured’ (he knows who he is)

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